I’m flying high above the ocean and watching rainbows flicker through the clouds in the afternoon sun while my mind takes a lazy stroll through my hazy memories of the past few months.
I have been planning my big 6 month solo adventure through South and Central America for a while and now it is finally happening. My bum is on a plane seat and yet it still doesn’t feel like this is happening. I have spent the last few months on an emotional roller coaster ride stressing about this trip and worried about absolutely everything. I won’t lie, there are things I would have done differently and things I probably shouldn’t have wasted my money on. I could have saved more and I’m sure I could have packed lighter! I’ve also had people that made me doubt what I’m doing and made me loose confidence in myself. I’m still not even sure if what I’m doing is right. But then along with the criticism I will have a small number of people say how much they admire me and how courageous I am on embarking on such a trip and in those moments of kind words I feel reassured that what I am doing is pretty awesome as silly as that might seem.
As the hours got closer things became harder, instead of months left it’s weeks left and then days and hours (and typical me, I had left everything to the last minute). Leading up to leaving, I have experienced insane lows but also some good highs. I know this will be worth all the blood, sweet and meltdowns once my feet touch foreign land but in the meantime I just have to keep convincing myself that everything is going to be okay.
My mind then wanders to what I could have done without and small things I missed and then occasionally my mind treats me with a flash of what’s in stall for me after this god awful long flight.
Soon all the what if’s won’t matter anyway because my mind will be too occupied with the adventure I will be on and all the stress will be a distant memory.
I will hit the ground running and there will be no turning back.